Michael Hawkes
Dennis Casalinuova
Mary Aycock's Family
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Dennis' Story
Siblings are very special peoples in our lives. I have always felt so grateful for my sibling. We have a bond that not many brother and sisters have. We rarely argue and I am so grateful for this. My brother and I have are similar in many ways; however, differ in others. We both have addictive personalities. Addictive personalities run in our families to many different things. I like to think that I "lucked out" when it comes to what my mind is addicted too; however, others think I'm out of my mind. My addictions run a multitude of differences from cleaning to even numbers to chocolate. My luck I like to think stems from my addictions being to things that aren't harmful to my body (well, besides the waistline!). My dear brother was not so fortunate with his addictive personality. His addictions are to alcohol and drugs. This is an addiction has run in my family for years, continues to run in my family, and will forever run in family. It is difficult to sit and watch the ones you love more than yourself harm themselves in such a way. My heart aches for my brother. I have tried many a times to talk with him and seek the reason for this addiction. I think some of it has to do with my parents separation when he was 18 and some comes from him losing his first real love to the "separate college" situation. I even have thought that some of his addiction is because of me. I feel that if I was there for him he wouldn't need alcohol. There are just so many confusions that run through my mind daily about him and I just don't have a pinpoint answer.
My brother went on a bad bing a year ago around the holidays. He would leave home (this is when we were both living with my father) and not come home for a day or two. We'd get no phone calls to let us know where he was... nothing. It didn't dawn on me until this started happening that there was something more going on than just alcohol. In the midst of a blackout last January my brother hit a parked car on the way home from the bar. The next morning he went out to his truck and had no idea why the passenger side of his GMC truck was totaled. It was at this moment that he admitted to my mother that was hooked on cocaine. He broke down to tears, probably the second time I've ever heard my brother to cry (the first being when my mom told him she was leaving our dad). My brother had a problem. He stopped drinking and doing drugs for about three weeks until he couldn't stay sober any more and dove back into the underworld. One Wednesday night in April he came home at 3am with a huge cut across the back of his head. He was out of it when I heard him come in. I immediately rushed to the bathroom to see what was going on and started cleaning him up. He had been in a fight in our downtown. He was out with a group of his "friends" and one of them started a fight with another group of kids. My brother is not the kind of kid to sick and watch a "friend" get beat up, so he choose to get in on this fight to help out a "friend". He just remembers trying to grab the other kid off his "friend" and then he was smashed over the back of his head with a brick. His "friends" dragged him into their car and drove around aimlessly for two more hours while my brother was nearly unconscious. They are so lucky that he is alive. A few weeks later the court summons came along witht he police detectives. My brother has been charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (one of the other kids is accusing him of kicking him). My brother swears he never kicked him. The court dates have been steadily coming every few months since last June and it is finally going to trial on January 21st. The victim who was supposedly kicked by my brother is no where to be found and hasn't shown up for court at all. My brother is scared to death. I have never seen him in this situation. He has heart pupitations and has been hooked up to heart monitor for 24 hours. He is in trouble. One of the good things is that he knows this. He knows he has messed up royally this time. He has actively admitted his problem and has stopped cocaine and slowed down on the alcohol. Instead of going to the bars on the weekends he comes to mine and my fiances home and works on his 1977 truck. He has made changes and I am beyond proud of him. He still has a journey ahead of him, but he is definately on his way into the right direction. I pray for him everyday that he cleans up his act and so far he is doing the right thing. Our of fear of him going away to jail I have been adding into my prayers that he doesn't go away. I think if he goes away it will discourage him and won't be the change he needs. I know he did wrong in fight, but I also see that he was trying to help another. My brother has a big heart and would give the shirt off his back to a person in need. He is in his early twenties (22 to be exact) and has made his mistakes. He is learning from them and if anyone knows him well it is me. I hope this is not a selfish request that I am asking you to assist me in my prayers of healing and quite literally for him not to go to jail. These are my prayers daily and I am requesting your help. Any prayers are so much appreciated by myself. I just pray that he finds his way. Thank you for reading and thank you for your prayers.
My brother went on a bad bing a year ago around the holidays. He would leave home (this is when we were both living with my father) and not come home for a day or two. We'd get no phone calls to let us know where he was... nothing. It didn't dawn on me until this started happening that there was something more going on than just alcohol. In the midst of a blackout last January my brother hit a parked car on the way home from the bar. The next morning he went out to his truck and had no idea why the passenger side of his GMC truck was totaled. It was at this moment that he admitted to my mother that was hooked on cocaine. He broke down to tears, probably the second time I've ever heard my brother to cry (the first being when my mom told him she was leaving our dad). My brother had a problem. He stopped drinking and doing drugs for about three weeks until he couldn't stay sober any more and dove back into the underworld. One Wednesday night in April he came home at 3am with a huge cut across the back of his head. He was out of it when I heard him come in. I immediately rushed to the bathroom to see what was going on and started cleaning him up. He had been in a fight in our downtown. He was out with a group of his "friends" and one of them started a fight with another group of kids. My brother is not the kind of kid to sick and watch a "friend" get beat up, so he choose to get in on this fight to help out a "friend". He just remembers trying to grab the other kid off his "friend" and then he was smashed over the back of his head with a brick. His "friends" dragged him into their car and drove around aimlessly for two more hours while my brother was nearly unconscious. They are so lucky that he is alive. A few weeks later the court summons came along witht he police detectives. My brother has been charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (one of the other kids is accusing him of kicking him). My brother swears he never kicked him. The court dates have been steadily coming every few months since last June and it is finally going to trial on January 21st. The victim who was supposedly kicked by my brother is no where to be found and hasn't shown up for court at all. My brother is scared to death. I have never seen him in this situation. He has heart pupitations and has been hooked up to heart monitor for 24 hours. He is in trouble. One of the good things is that he knows this. He knows he has messed up royally this time. He has actively admitted his problem and has stopped cocaine and slowed down on the alcohol. Instead of going to the bars on the weekends he comes to mine and my fiances home and works on his 1977 truck. He has made changes and I am beyond proud of him. He still has a journey ahead of him, but he is definately on his way into the right direction. I pray for him everyday that he cleans up his act and so far he is doing the right thing. Our of fear of him going away to jail I have been adding into my prayers that he doesn't go away. I think if he goes away it will discourage him and won't be the change he needs. I know he did wrong in fight, but I also see that he was trying to help another. My brother has a big heart and would give the shirt off his back to a person in need. He is in his early twenties (22 to be exact) and has made his mistakes. He is learning from them and if anyone knows him well it is me. I hope this is not a selfish request that I am asking you to assist me in my prayers of healing and quite literally for him not to go to jail. These are my prayers daily and I am requesting your help. Any prayers are so much appreciated by myself. I just pray that he finds his way. Thank you for reading and thank you for your prayers.
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